On being totally wtf.
Me: Just got some really great news.
Zack: You got a real job!
Me: No, but it's great news all the same.
Zack: TELL US! Are you engaged?!
Drew: No! She grew a penis, so now we can REALLY be married AND it would make sense!
Me: Why would I need to grow a penis if I can buy one from the store?
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-5-23) →
Gorillaz (16) The Donnas (15) Hot Chip (6) Jimi Hendrix (1) Wiley (1) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
jermainia: “In Public” - Kelis feat. Nas
On love in the modern age, part two
Me: Oh snap, son. I think we need to take our facebook relationship to the next level. Will you marry me?
Drew: I suppose it's only fair for you to propose to me in this sort of situation... and my answer is YES! Yes I will! :D Where's my ring?!
Me: Ho, please. I wish I had money for a ring. I'll make you one out of one of those twist-ties on bags of bread.
Drew: Hey, a ring is a ring. Just put something glittery on it. :)
Me: We're now married! Confirm that shit so it'll show up on our profiles!
-- -- --
Me: We need to have a wedding reception so we can get some free shit.
Drew: Indeed. Should we register somewhere?
Me: Target? This is a sham marriage, I don't want people to spend a lot.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-5-16) →
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (16) Chris Brown (3) Tube Tops 2000 (1) Switchblade Kittens (1) The Fizzy Bangers (1) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
OMG, y'all, did you know that geese hiss?! →
I didn’t find that out until today when I walked past a gaggle on my way to get some lunch. They scared the shit out of me! I mean, it’s not like they were going to peck me to death (I’d like to see them try), but at a 5:1 ratio, I was outnumbered.
Speaking of getting hit on...
It happened twice on Friday. One was drunk, the other was a (very old-looking) thirty-one-year-old (not like I can judge as I’m a very young-looking twenty-four). The latter introduced himself, asked to sit next to me (this was on the Metro), and told me that I was beautiful: definitely the right way to approach a woman. Too bad he never had a chance.
Don’t ask me what my name is: stupid bitch, I’m famous.– R. Kelly
(I don’t actually have anything to say, I just wanted to not have two last.fm most played posts in a row.)
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-5-9) →
Queen (99) Raphael Saadiq (28) Buzzcocks (24) The Magnetic Fields (22) Mariah Carey (21) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
I keep getting hit on, a relatively new phenomenon...
It would be one thing if they were guys around my age (twentysomethings), but they’re men old enough to be my father. I want to yell at them, “WHAT ARE YOU, A PEDO?!” but flattery is flattery and I guess it means I’m doing something right (finally).
The Village Voice: Proof That Anna Wintour Danced... →
juliabunny: A blissfully misinformed account (um, hello – that’s Bee!) highlighted by some off the wall, legendary photos
@2am no he broke up with me. i would never break...
antispamprorecycle: i just pretend that i have some control over it. but he just called me and said he doesn’t feel a connection between us, and doesn’t think there is anything he can do for that. so just some lines meaning, i never want to see your face again, loser! You’re not a loser. He’s an ass.
curiousgirl: Usher featuring will.i.am - OMG (Oh...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-5-2) →
J*Davey (12) The Sounds (12) Black Eyed Peas (11) Queen (10) Robyn (8) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
[N]o matter how many 12-year-old girls might emit piercing screams of protest,...– Robin Givhan, “White House Correspondents’ dinner: D.C. spiffs up its act”